From Red Terrapin, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  12. Thanks again to everyone.
  14. A readers' forum post by Tom on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 00:57 | reply to this comment
  15. Re: Is it necessary to be naturally dominant?
  16. A readers' forum post by a Taken In Hand reader on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 06:54 | reply to this comment
  17. Tom, I've read replies to your question and it sounds like you've gotten a lot of wonderful advice from some very caring people on this site. One of the frequent issues that seem to trip people up on a site that I manage is the issue of labeling. How dominant one is can only be determined by your own definition of what "dominant" is. I've been told I'm "naturally dominant". Yet some couldn't understand how a dominant man can help do dishes, cook meals, change diapers, and other stereotypical "female" or submissive role. Instead of focusing on what a dominant male does, I would like to suggest that you focus on what makes you and yours happy in your relationship. Every relationship will define their individual roles differently. I can only suggest things that have worked for me and/or others that I've discussed the Taken In Hand relationship with. If I may suggest...
  19. 1. Communicate... Discuss, Email, write notes, Post on message boards, etc... Your thoughts on how your relationship should work. Remember, she managed the courage to tell you about her need to be spanked. (very couragous of her). She obviously trusts and loves you to be able to open up to you about this very personal secret she keeps hidden from most.
  21. 2. Respect... that trust by being trustworthy. She's counting on you to take control of certain parts of the relationship. You stated you liked the feeling of being in control. As much as you liked that feeling, I'm telling you that your wife liked you being in control 10 fold more than that. If you are truly interested in your wife's happiness, and this is something you feel will bring happiness to you and harmony in your relationship, then it is your duty to diligently pursue ways to lead this relationship. Keep communication between your wife and yourself open. Never use their words against them for personal gain.
  23. 3. Be Disciplined... Don't get pissed. Stay in control of your emotions. Remember that some of the attitude that comes from her is not necessarily personal attacks, although it may feel that way. Sometimes your wife will NEED a spanking but just not know how to ask for it. Understand, it is a NEED and NOT a DESIRE. If her needs aren't being met, you can count on her acting out to do something to make sure they get met.