From Fiery Water Vole, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  11. There is a certain school of thought that seems to believe that all men are naturally dominant, and all women naturally submissive. I do not believe this. My own submissive inclinations were sort of semi-suppressed for years, although i've always known myself to be sexually submissive and came to terms with that early on in my life, I was confused about how much further I wanted it to go. I used to get miserable when my husand lost his temper with me, it took me a long time to realise that the reason I felt so wretched and panic-stricken when he got out of control was that I had this very strong desire for him to be IN control. If I hadn't then I don't think I would have minded nearly so much, I mean it's not like I wasn't used to people losing their tempers and exploding, my mother did it all the time, right up almost until the day of her death.
  13. But I don't think all women have this hunger for a man to be in charge, and in your wife's case perhaps it just isn't something she is interested in. I always used to respond positively to the occasional times when my husband was firm with me rather than aggresive, I just never thought he could do it consistently or keep his temper under control if something annoyed him. Now that I find he can it has greatly improved domestic harmony.
  15. But it sounds like your wife isn't interested in that sort of thing. I'm not entirely sure when you say you try to be a dominant husband whether it is because it's something you really want to be, or because it's something you think you ought to be? If it's because you think it's something you ought to be, then perhaps it doesn't matter too much that your wife doesn't seem to care for it. If you really want to be dominant though and she doesn't want you to be, then that could be more of a problem.